Wednesday, September 30, 2009

ShallowGal demonstates her mastery of both screenshots and the oval annotation tool

Luckily, SG has decided to use these new powers for good rather than evil.

Sorry, AmVets doesn't want your liver. Try Goodwill.

Because nothing says atonement like a good Agatha Christie paperback.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Do One Nice Thing

Hopefully ShallowGal isn't disclosing any industry secrets when she explains that for the Silicon Valley Mom's Book Club, instead of actual reviews, we write posts inspired by the book. So when ShallowGal tried to figure out the angle to take for this month's SV mom's book club, Do One Nice Thing, the obvious choice was to either talk about all the nice things she does or the nice things others do for her. (1)

Gratuitous shot of the cheerful cover to distract you from
the sad story that's SG is about to tell.

Then SG panicked.

Because last year SG was called out by an ex-friend on her blog (1.5). The accusation: ShallowGal does do good things but tells anyone who will listen about them. Which lessens the good deed. The consensus in the comment sections was that conservatives do more good deeds than liberals but talk about them less. Their reward is in Heaven. (2)

For the record, it was a bullshit assertion. Ask anyone who knows her well, ShallowGal cannot stand to be the center of attention. True story: when SG was 8 she owned a tee shirt that had a recipe for caramel corn on the front. (3) People would stop SG and ask if they could copy her shirt. Thirty-two years later, SG still can't eat caramel corn without having a panic attack.

Here's why SG talks (and blogs) about her primary good deed, being a volunteer emergency foster family. To encourage others to consider trying it.(4, 4.5) She figures people look at her messy, cluttered 1900 square foot home and the outgrown blond highlights and they say, yikes, if she can do it, certainly *I* can.

And you can. Here's what you need to be a foster parent. Love. Patience. Maybe a pack and play in the attic. (5)

It's a more work than sending pencils to a needy school, but the reward is exponentially good. But in the meantime, send some pencils. A little karma never hurt anyone.

1) Most recently: a trainer at the gym gave Jake 2 tickets to today's Capitols- Rangers game.
1.5) A conservative politics manifesto where SG was occasionally referred to as a "libtard. " Which I think we can agree falls firmly in the "not nice" category.
2) ShallowGal will take her reward in dark chocolate kit kats.
3) I don't know why either. The 70's are a fashion mystery.
And the Karma. You write a blog like this, you take all the karma you can get.
4.5) And maybe just a teeny bit because she doesn't want people to think she was cheating on PCSguy
5) And Social services can usually provide one in a pinch.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Another PSA from my 4 year old

Halloween is now 44 days away.
You should be on at least your third costume.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

The ShallowGal / America's Test Kitchen Project

Always a sucker for a cooking magazine with a glossy cover, SG bought this magazine at Costco:

Who are we kidding?
SG is a sucker for anything featuring a chocolate cake.

Now this publication is a compilation of two magazines that ShallowGal already subscribes to, as well as several cookbooks that SG already owns. Obviously what is needed now is a way to justify the $6.67 she just spent.

Then ShallowGal had a brilliant, totally original idea: ShallowGal will cook everything in this magazine and then blog about it. The internet has never seen anything like this and will go wild.

Huh. Are you sure?

To be fair, everything SG knows about Julie and Julia comes from VUBOQs review and some commercials she fast forwarded through. And since SG has already started the movie casting (1), the project is greenlighted. Greenlit? Given the green light.

Day 1: Tacos. ShallowGal made the tacos on page 23 of the magazine. They were good.(2)

Day 2: ShallowGal forgets to bring the magazine to the supermarket, but notices a great sale on porterhouse steaks. What best-of cooking magazine wouldn't feature a recipe for those? Answer: This one. SG rubs some salt and pepper on them and throws them on the grill for 5 minutes on each side. Serves with corn on the cob and pasta salad made from a box. Yummy. But not from the magazine, so totally irrelevant.

Day 3: ShallowGal serves leftover steak while PCSguy makes his standard "I'll have a steak sandwich and a steak sandwich" joke.

Day 4: All this cooking is exhausting. SG orders the posse a pizza.

Day 5: ShallowGal wonders if Kraft would send her another copy of their magazine. The first copy kind of got all cut-up. The ShallowGal / Kraft project has a better ring to it anyway.

And who wouldn't pay big bucks to see Meryl Streep make quick bologna quesadillas?

1) Bob Saget will play PCSguy. That guy has range.
2) I think we can agree that ShallowGal is killing this project so far.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Mostly Wordless Wednesday: When the PCSguy is away

SG turns his side of the bed into her office.

Assuming one had a career where they needed insurance paperwork,
the toddler's laundry, a paperback, a nasty, misspelled note from the 8 year old,
a bag of cotton balls and a ukulele.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

And on the seventh day ShallowGal realized why on vacation her 4 year old kept asking her if a shark would eat him

Alternate title: SG pimps out her 4 year old to avoid writing about the very sad feelings she has today, in no particular order: about her child (1) with a host of attentional and behavioral issues and now suffering from nasty side effects from psychotropic drugs, SG's first foray into the exciting world of IEPs, and her friend whose husband is leaving for Iraq on her birthday. (2,3)

But that title was a grammatical nightmare, even if SG did spell psychotropic correctly on her first try.

Ah, camp songs.

1) Who has requested, and shall receive, anonymity.
2) The friend's birthday, not SG's birthday. Not that it really matters when your husband is leaving for Iraq.
3) When SG texted PCSguy this news, PCSguy asked, and I quote, "Why?"