Monday, April 11, 2011

How to plan a Bar Mitzvah~ Shallow-Gal style

Step 1: Give birth to a boy. (1) Wait thirteen years. Drive kid to Hebrew School every Sunday and Monday.

Step 2: Realize that at the end of the day, honestly, every Bar Mitzvah comes down to 2 things: the weather and your dress. And, really there's only so much you can do about your dress, thus most of your attention should be on the weather. April in DC, historically, is gorgeous.

where's global warming when you need it?

Step 3: Hear the weatherman use the words Historic East Coast Snowstorm.

Step 4: Cry.

Step 5: Turn attention back to the dress. Or dresses if you want to be all technical about it. Cause by Friday night I had six possibilities hanging from the back of my closet door. One size 8, four size 10s and a very sad emergency 12. (2)

Step 6: Watch boy child read from the Torah and turn into a man before your very eyes. Beam with pride. Care a little less about the weather.

but would it kill it to stop hailing?

Step 7
: Party the night away, surrounded by everyone you love in the entire world. Realize what's really important.

The dress, obviously

1) Lord have mercy, it's going to be one of those posts.
2) I'm a stress eater. Sue me.