The BFF search begins

So I've been hard at work these past 2 weeks, auditioning new best friends. I've decided that most likely, I'm going to promote from within. Just to keep the learning curve to a minimum. (1) There are a lot of important things that I don't have time to teach a new BFF, like when my birthday is. (3)

One of my leading contenders is Hope, aka Lolita Travelsalot, a friend since our La Leche League days, 12 years ago. You know her as my baycation partner in crime, and also from BlogHer '08.

That's Hope on the left, and btw, this is the picture to
be used in my obituary.

Pros:

• Fabulous wardrobe that she's willing to share, and even pretends will fit me, even though, c'mon, look at her!
  
• Willing to drink before noon.
• Long shared history. I've spent the past week looking for the most adorable picture of Noa and her middle daughter dressed like bumblebees for their dance recital when they were 4.
  
• Not only remembered my birthday but even took me out for lunch.
  

Cons: (4)

• Because she's so gosh-darned awesome, her schedule is pretty full. I hate to break this to you, but I'm a fairly high maintenance friend.
  

And so the search continues . . .

1) My husband mentioned that until my post last week, he thought *HE* was my best friend. Isn't that cute? Although, funny story: I was reading this book called How to Have a New Husband by Friday (2) and it mandated that you shouldn't complain about your husband to your friends. Which begs the question, who should I complain about my husband to? Total strangers on the street? Grocery clerks? Not a well thought out book, I think we can agree.
2) Which was utter tripe, and I took a lot of crap for reading it, even though it was just for potential blog fodder.
3) It was last Monday by the way, and a tremendous number of contestants neglected to so much as send a card and were immediately disqualified.
4) Besides, you know, working too hard and caring too much.

SG searches for a new best friend.

Linda, my real life BFF, has put her house on the market, six months earlier than planned. (1)

So the search for a new BFF has moved up my to-do list. Originally I had planned to hold informal auditions over the summer, maybe organize some kind of reality show in August, and reach a final decision, probably with some kind of bridging ceremony, in the fall. But if I'm to have a new best friend in place the day Linda moves, I need to get started yesterday. And considering I'm still working several hours a day on a post I started last August (2) I think we can all agree timeliness is not my best quality. (3)

(Although if you did agree, you're automatically out of the running. My BFF would never say something like that about me. )

And just so we're clear, if you think you know how this is going to end, with some preachy dialogue about how true friendship can survive, and for the love of all things holy, she's only moving 40 minutes to the west and she already lives 20 minutes to the east now, and what's 20 minutes more? No. At the end of this series, I will have a new best friend, and visit Linda weekly and reminisce about the good old days. And take Linda's five calls a day even when I'm out with my Linda2.0 so as to remind her that she's fine, but not quite as good as her predecessor, until I cause another poor soul to move out to the middle of nowhere as well.

Let's get looking. I can't imagine there isn't a line around the block already.



1)Marinka helpfully pointed out last week that Leesburg, where Linda is moving, sounds made up, so I asked for a forwarding address. It's 123 Main Street. And her new number is 867-5309. So there, Marinka!

2) It was about a dinner party I had with David, Vuboq and some guy whose name I don't even remember anymore. I was going to title it Queer Eye for the ShallowGal and we made pizzas on the grill topped with produce from the garden and it had one funny line about confusing it with a 6 year old's birthday, and this picture & caption:

It may look unorthodox
but I can guarantee that his elbow hasn't been in his nose or his butt.

So if today's blog accomplishes nothing else, I got that monkey off my back. (2.1)


2.1) But not this monkey:

AKA something about my trip to Nicaragua.
Yes. It's an actual monkey on my back. In Nicaragua.
See how I made that transition seamlessly? This stuff takes time, people!

3) What's the most important thing aboutwritingablogpost?TIMING! That joke never gets old.