Friday, June 3, 2011

Literally the lamest post ever

This week I thanked my husband for 8 blissful years of marriage. He was so annoyed.

Probably because it was our 15th anniversary.

Picky, picky. It's not like I said the other 7 years were a living hell; blissful is a very high achievement for a marriage. We celebrated in style: I got him a $15 itunes gift card and he killed this fly that was really getting on my nerves.

Anywho, Charles & I are having this little disagreement, our first since pillow-gate 1 Today’s issue: The meaning of the word literally.


Charles: I could literally spend all day throwing a ball to this dog.

Me: I wouldn’t advertise that. It makes you sound kind of lame.

Charles: Well I don’t mean literally, literally. I mean it like ‘not literally.’

Me: So the definition of ‘literally’ is ‘not literally?’

It’s not the only definitional problem we’ve had today. Charles revealed today that he was nominated for ‘hottest something something’.2

Me: Hottest meaning hottest? Or hottest meaning hottest? (Makes vague hand motions)

Charles: Hottest meaning hottest. (Makes no hand motion)

Me: That doesn’t help.

Eight blissful years. Six pretty damn decent years.3 Happy Anniversary to us!

[1] Which considering how much I spent on dresses alone for Jake’s Bar Mitzvah is pretty impressive.

[2] I actually know what he was nominated for, but if he loses, I do not want to be blamed cause he would literally kill me. Oh. Shit.

[3] 2001 was a tough year for everyone so it doesn't really count.