Friday, June 26, 2009

What happens when 4 year olds are unsupervised on You Tube

Apparently Jake left the computer browser on You Tube. (1) Eli was following the directions from the nice man on the Disney Channel who told him to go to Disney channel and type in key word Oso. And now he sings this ALL. FUCKING. DAY. LONG.

He's covered in pop tarts, paint and band-aid. He's so gross that even he can't stand it (2)

Eventually ShallowGal remembered some 7th grade Spanish and solved the mystery. (3)

Considering the other words Eli knows how to spell,
I'd say we really dodged a bullet.

Although after a few hundred viewings of this, a little porn doesn't seem so bad.

Next, SG should get Eli to fix the html code because she can't figure out how to un- italics stuff and fix the formatting.

1)Yes, I know.
2) At the end of his video he says "I'm going to go run my bath."
3) Oso must be Spanish for Gummy Bear.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Get your ShallowGal fix here

Dear Reader:

Yes, ShallowGal's been MIA lately. It's been a giant clusterfuck of stomach flu and burst pipes around here.(1) And lethargy. Lots of lethargy.

But SG did manage to squeak out something over at DC Metro Moms. I know I have no right to ask anything of you, but if you feel it in your heart, please head over there and give me some lovin'. Muchas Gracias.

And there are about a dozen posts stacked in my draft file, all with exciting titles like "my garden" and "this is not my mother's gourmet club" so don't give up on me quite yet.

xo, SG

1) Why do those 2 things always occur simultaneously in this house?

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Why my book club is better than your book club (1)


Don't get all up in my grill, it's well past 5 o'clock (2)

2) We're not all caught up in the old-fashioned idea that we actually have to read a book. Don't get me wrong; we all read plenty of books, just not the same one at the same time. That way we can pass around one copy. Saving trees and being fiscally responsible.

3) Really there isn't a number 3 (3) but having the same numbers repeated on the list and footnotes was kind of confusing. (4)

1) Cause he eats kennel rations.
2) In Paris.

3) Cause I don't want you to feel bad about your inferior book club.
4) No footnote either but we could be here all night otherwise trying to conquer my OCD.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Mostly Wordless Weekend. A Public Service Announcement: PCSguy-Style

Do not pick a fight with your wife while you are on the roof cleaning the gutters.

Because the ladder is light and the ShallowGal, vindictive.

The posse is generally on ShallowGal's side.
Especially when she offers ice cream with the after-dinner show.

Even if they could be bribed from the roof,
the posse's ideas are derived from cartoons and generally impractical.

And for some reason, nobody seems to be out walking their dog tonight.

Note: No PCSguys were harmed in the making of this PSA. Yet.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Just when you thought that ShallowGal had taken the 3 bottles of Pantene and left the country

But really SG was just overwhelmed with the concept of writing eleven different names on little pieces of paper, finding a hat, rounding up the posse, explaining the concept of just picking one name, taking the paper out of the hat, writing posse's names on little pieces of paper and picking those to determine who gets to pick their little piece of paper first.

You'd consider taking the conditioner and leaving the country too.

But after a week of paralyzing anxiety, SG simply decided to go the random number generator route.

Even the internet is fucking with me this morning

According to the time stamp, it took seven full minutes
for SG to figure out how to handle this mini-catastrophe.

Marathon Mom, Inna and Julie ~ congratulations! Please email me your address.