ShallowGal's get rich quick scheme

ShallowGal's been watching the problems on Wall Street. And the effects on her family's 401K. Either PCSguy is going to have to work until he's ninety or ShallowGal needs a plan.

And one thing ShallowGal can always be counted on for is having a plan. (1)(1.5)

ShallowGal is going to open a pole dancing gym. No you perv, get your mind out of the gutter. A classy pole dancing gym, for women to get exercise and have fun.

And because when SG can do this, PCSguy will ensure her financial future.
Photo stolen from these guys.

This is no ass backwards plan, for your information, although it should result in ShallowGal having a very nice ass. Like any prudent business woman, ShallowGal started with a little market research; in this case, a survey. Goddess fitness in Bethesda offers a trial class and SG invited Lolita and Decidedly Right to go next week to try a class. DR told SG to stop acting like a whore, but Lolita was in.

That gives us a 50% interest rate in pole dancing classes in women between 35 and 45. (2)

ShallowGal's Northern Virginia town has 20,000 women over the age of 18. Do the math. 10,000 women are wandering Burke, Virginia right now wishing they could find some place to learn to pole dance.

If four different tae kwon do studios can exist within 3 square miles, a pole dancing gym should be a license to print money. And ShallowGal will be laughing all the way to the bank.

1. Another is SG will NEVER let you drink alone.
1.5) Another is overuse of prepositions. A third is laziness when it comes to renumbering footnotes during the editing process.
2. Math is totally SG's strong point.

Mostly Wordless Wednesday: ShallowGal's front yard, a retrospective

ShallowGal's yard, Saturday, September 27th.
The first such sign in her ultra right wing neighborhood.
Much hoo-hah commences.

ShallowGal's yard Sunday, September 28th.
Something seems to be missing.



SG's yard, October 4rth.
Yes, it took a week. Obama yard signs are hard to come by.



SG's yard: October 5th, 7 am.
WTF?



October 5th 7:01 am
ShallowGal admits defeat. She is not meant to own a yard sign.

PS: I will be off-line from sundown tonight until Friday morning in observance of Yom Kippur. To all my Jewish friends: G'mar chatimah tovah. May you be sealed for a good year in the Book of Life. xoxo, Amy

Gwen Ifill better watch out

Although ShallowGal has no clue what she wants to do when she grows up, Noa has narrowed down her career options.

She's either going to be a rock star or the Vice Presidential debate moderator. (1)

Debate moderator is actually a job tailor made for Noa, as there is little in life she likes more than asking questions. One day I actually counted how many questions (2) Noa asked; the answer, a mind numbing 278. Assuming she sleeps 10 hours a night, that works out to 19.8 questions an hour, or one every THREE minutes. All day, every day. Getting paid to ask questions? Icing on the cake.

When Noa heard that Gwen Ifill had broken her ankle, she immediately started working on the questions she would ask, should her presence be required in St. Louis.

1. Have you ever been to Russia? What about China? Did you like it? Did you bring me anything?
   
2. How many cars do you have?
   
3. Is today a good day for a car wash? What about a lemonade stand?
4. Do you like to play football? Do you watch football? Who's your favorite team?
5. Do you have a dog?
   

The makers of Palin bingo would need to do a monster re-write for the answers you'd get to these questions.

Never one to be left out, Eli has a few questions of his own:

1. What's your roof made of? (3)
2. Do you know Blues Clues dad, Steve? Is he nice or bad?
3. Do you have any gum?

1. She's no idiot, my little girl. It's a pretty cushy job, what with 1460 days off every four years.
2. Full questions only, not just phrases ending with a question mark like "mom?"
3.It took a few minutes to figure out the roof fixation but finally determined he must have read The Three Little Pigs at school. Or he's planning a career in shingles.

Less Words Wednesday ~ Eli's first homework assignment

Assignment: Create a poster about your family. (1)

1) Not entirely sure how Mickey or Super Why are related to him.

In honor of the Jewish New Year AND the election, ShallowGal phones it in.

Ketiva ve-chatima tovah. May you be written and sealed for a good year.

ShallowGal and the (somewhat) selfless act

This morning ShallowGal was at the bank. Apparently there's something wrong with the economy, maybe, (or was it astronomy?) and ShallowGal thought maybe she could be of some assistance.

The bank manager told ShallowGal about a new promotion; open a new checking account and get a $50 Visa gift card. Now ShallowGal already has two checking accounts; the joint account with PCSguy for bills and her secret account. The secret account is in case SG needs to bail in the middle of the night. (1) Or PCSguy needs bail in the middle of the night. But that would probably come out of the joint checkbook anyway.

With an extra $50, ShallowGal would treat her family to Chinese food tomorrow night after swim practice. At the good place too, not the crappy buffet.

But then the bank manager started to mess with ShallowGal's head. She said that instead of $50, they would instead donate $100 to ShallowGal's favorite 501(c)(3) charity. King Solomon himself never faced such a choice!

Clearly this is a test of ShallowGal's character. And there is little that ShallowGal excels at more than fake secret tests of character. Except maybe quizzes about reality television shows on Bravo. (2)

ShallowGal's favorite charity is UNICEF. Instead of feeding her family fried dumplings, UNICEF would take the money and give FIVE HUNDRED children measles vaccines. Oh they are good at fake secret character tests, these people.

But then ShallowGal thought of something she likes more than Chinese food, and possibly even more than measles shots (3) And that is comments.

So here's the deal. Leave a comment telling SG if you would take the $50 or donate $100 to charity, and if so, which charity. On September 30th, one comment will be "randomly" (4) chosen, and the money will be donated to that charity, in that commenter's name.



1) However SG will not get far as the secret account has about $400.
2) Hot Tranny Mess for $200, Alex!
3) That's going to count against me on the fake secret character test, isn't it?
4) Randomly is is quotation marks because we all know that these things are fixed. But it's going to a charity, for sure.

ShallowGal, as seen by a 3 1/2 year old

Kid, I could not agree with you more