Saturday, October 4, 2008

Gwen Ifill better watch out

Although ShallowGal has no clue what she wants to do when she grows up, Noa has narrowed down her career options.

She's either going to be a rock star or the Vice Presidential debate moderator. (1)

Debate moderator is actually a job tailor made for Noa, as there is little in life she likes more than asking questions. One day I actually counted how many questions (2) Noa asked; the answer, a mind numbing 278. Assuming she sleeps 10 hours a night, that works out to 19.8 questions an hour, or one every THREE minutes. All day, every day. Getting paid to ask questions? Icing on the cake.

When Noa heard that Gwen Ifill had broken her ankle, she immediately started working on the questions she would ask, should her presence be required in St. Louis.

  1. Have you ever been to Russia? What about China? Did you like it? Did you bring me anything?
  2. How many cars do you have?
  3. Is today a good day for a car wash? What about a lemonade stand?
  4. Do you like to play football? Do you watch football? Who's your favorite team?
  5. Do you have a dog?

The makers of Palin bingo would need to do a monster re-write for the answers you'd get to these questions.

Never one to be left out, Eli has a few questions of his own:
  1. What's your roof made of? (3)
  2. Do you know Blues Clues dad, Steve? Is he nice or bad?
  3. Do you have any gum?

1. She's no idiot, my little girl. It's a pretty cushy job, what with 1460 days off every four years.
2. Full questions only, not just phrases ending with a question mark like "mom?"

3.It took a few minutes to figure out the roof fixation but finally determined he must have read The Three Little Pigs at school. Or he's planning a career in shingles.


countrymouse said...

Do you have a dog and what's your roof made of--now *these* are the important questions that voters need to be asking!

For the record, our roof is made of moss. And our dog? Made of fleas . . .

Stimey said...

I'd like to see how Sarah Palin answers those questions.

Sue @ My Party of 6 said...

I think Sarah would dodge those questions just as artfully as she did the other important questions she was asked!

Teri said...

Without a doubt, Sarah Palin would ace those questions! She has a seven year old daughter, after all. "Home Depot Joe" Biden, on the other hand, would have to pull the answers out of his arse.

Both of them, however, would wither in the blistering "which kid is the pickiest eater" line of questioning. That girl can be relentless in her quest for answers!

Anonymous said...

Ah, Amy - I know you are really a republican at heart, figuring out a way to get Noa to turn a dime for the family at such a young age. Hope all is well with you guys.

Becca said...

1460 days off - holy crap, how did *I* not become a debate moderator?

And those are clearly some very seriously questions that we, the American people, deserve answers to. Especially "do you have any gum."

Kelley said...

or he has overheard someone at school talking about having Shingles... and you are about to have The Pox visit on your house.

Cindy said...

My daughter gets to be the moderator for her 6th grade mock election debate. They already know Obama will win in a landslide in the school (northern virginia!), and the teachers had to make McCain posters, because no one wanted to and they were worried it would be too lop-sided to learn anything from!!

Amy, I left you a gift on my blog :)