Friday, May 1, 2009

How to make your own yogurt, ShallowGal style, and other half-assed topics

Over the past few months, SG has started several posts that were headed absolutely nowhere. So they sat in her draft folder for months and months. Then one day SG posted a ridiculous bunch of random thoughts about comments and got 21 comments in return (1) Turns out you guys don't expect me to have a point.

1) Last month I made yogurt in the crockpot.


Hands down the crunchiest thing I've ever done.
Crunchy in a creamy way
.

I used this recipe which called for a gallon of organic milk and (wait for it) yogurt. So it's like if you were going to make a lasagna and the ingredient list called for meat and cheese and, oh yeah, a little tiny lasagna. But everyone in real life that I test drove that joke on, went off on some scientific tangent about starters.

2) Then there was the time that SG decided to solve the Craigs List killer mystery.(2)


This post was thwarted by SG's inability to post a decent screen shot.

Basically SG was trolling Craigs List and found this guy who was willing to barter his income tax expertise for a massage. On April 16th. Busted. But then it wasn't him. I tried.

3) Today is PCSGuy's birthday. But we celebrated that last year, and we have to be careful not to set a precedent here.

4) I think it's only fair to warn you guys that SG is on a diet. The South Beach Diet. The diet where SG can't eat cookies. And she simultaneously gave up diet coke. Because SG is not going to be Forty AND Fat. It's one or the other, and I can't change my birth certificate. Trust me, I've tried.


1) Although PCSGuy claims I was basically begging for comments there. Pity comments, he may have called them.
2) What's the most important part of telling a joke?TIMING. That joke isn't too funny in print but in real life, it's hilarious. And before you accuse me of misnumbering footnotes, the point was that blogging about the Craig's List killer now is akin to blogging about the 2007 Miss Universe Pageant.

10 comments:

Christy said...

Ooh I'm dieting too: weight watchers style. And I did give up soda the week before, but I'm back to my diet pepsi this week. Since I'm starving I can't also have killer headaches every day. Baby steps, right?

dizzblnd said...

good luck on you dieting.. it will be well worth it !

country mouse said...

About 5 years ago I ran into a "friend" (who I can't stand) and commented on how good she looked. "I wanted to be fit, fabulous and 40" she told me. And then she told me again. And some more. And another time in case I missed it the first 14 times she mentioned it.

"fitfabulousandforty, fitfabulousandforty, fitfabulousandforty . . . "

I never wanted to hear about being 40 and in shape again. Until my 40th birthday neared . . .

That is to say, good luck!
: )

Stimey said...

I think your joke is hilarious. But I think that yogurt is horrid. And I think that homemade yogurt from a crockpot is just about the worst thing I've ever heard, and I wish I'd never seen that photo.

Marinka said...

I love the tiny lasagna joke. I'm going to steal it and retell it all the time.

Why did you make homemade yoghurt? I feel like it's some sort of a scream for help. So I hope that someone hears it because I'm not moving from this couch.
Happy birthday to that guy you're married to!

Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo said...

I put tiny Italians in my lasagne.

Beth said...

You gave up cookies? And Diet Coke? What is there to live for?

the mama bird diaries said...

Maybe I'd like cooking more if I followed recipes like that yogurt recipe. Funny.

David said...

I think I'd make more challenging recipes if the ingredients always included the end product I was trying to achieve.

Roasted Rack of Lamb
Ingredients: One roasted rack of lamb.

How can you go wrong?

Justice Fergie said...

funny.

last night i was following a recipe that called for "fructose." Who just has "fructose" lying around?

good luck on your diet - i'm right there with ya!