A very Shallow expose

ShallowGal has been working day and night on her essay about VUBOQ. (1) As part of her research, SG re-read months and months of old VUBOQ and has made a startling discovery.

ShallowGal thinks Vuboq might be gay. (2)

SG Evidence #1) VUBOQ talks a lot about doing secks with someone named Y. I don't know what secks is but I think it's some kind of new age pilates. No straight guy would do pilates.

SG Evidence #2) If you rearrange the letters in his name it spells Divas, never stale. But if you re-arrange the letters in Straight Man you get Gnat As Mirth and Gnash Arm Tit (3)

SG Evidence #3) VUBOQ stands for Vicious. Unrepentant. Bitter. Old. Queen. Straight guys never refer to themselves as old. They get all "I'm in the prime of my life" or "I'm in better shape than I was in college" or "bald is the new black." Honestly I'm wondering why his parents named him that. Wasn't he young when he was born?

Bottom line: ShallowGal is sorry to push VUBOQ out of the closet but it's probably for the best. He was pretty supportive of Gay Pride month so I think he'll be okay about it. And now SG has a new friend to help her shop for shoes.

As always, this was ShallowGal and I'm here to help. (4)

1) SG really needs the prize money.
2) Not that there's anything wrong with that.
3) But you also get "Shag Martin" so this may not be the most effective gaydar.
4) And win the prize money. Or at least the jellybean pooping reindeer.