Monday, February 9, 2009

The 'holy smokes I haven't blogged in a week' edition

Once I read this book. Well technically I read the title of a book. It really made me think. The author makes the bold claim in her title that No One Cares What You Had For Lunch: 100 ideas for your blog.(1) That's why I've been gone for a week; I didn't want to bore you. Plus I've been busy over at Secret Spineless Whine. And just a wee bit sad because Eli is going to be four on Friday and then I'm all out of babies. Bottom line: it was for your own good. SG was no good for anyone.

Now that I've blown all my excuses in one wad, I'm going to share with you the conversation I had with Noa today after school. Which is basically the exact same conversation that we have every fucking day. Ironically about what Noa ate right after lunch. Does anyone care about that?

Noa: I'm Starving. Can I have a snack?

SG: "No, you can't. (2) Fine. This once. What would you like? "

What do we have ?

"We have the same things we always have. How about some fruit?"


"You sure? I have those oranges you like, or maybe some blueberries." (3)

What else is there?

Yogurt. Cheese. Turkey. Oatmeal. (4)

Are there any pop tarts?

Have there ever been any pop tarts?

Yes ! That one time on vacation.

Well that was a one time only thing.

Is there cereal?


What kind?

I don't know. Go look in the pantry.

Never mind, I'm not hungry.
Three kids times three meals + 2 snacks a day times seven days. I told you. It was for your own good.

1) It should be appended to say "unless your name is VUBOQ" because he makes really cool lunches.
2) I make the same "joke" every single time, so I'm not exactly blameless in this debacle.
3) SG is both a fruit whore, spending easily $50 a pop at the produce department and a fruit pimp.
There was a well thought out fruit prostition joke there at one point and I'm leaving the footnote open in case it pops back into my brain.
4) It's not that I don't buy junk food, it's just PCSguy and I hoard it for ourselves.


Rachel said...

Wow! Are you bugging my house and blogging my life??? This sounds pathetically familiar. Fruit pimping and all...

vuboq said...

The best lunches I've had are the ones with you :-) *smooches*

My parents didn't buy junkfood either and you see how I turned out, right?

Just sayin'

the mama bird diaries said...

I mostly just read book titles too. And sometimes I even order them from Amazon, set them on my night table as if I might actually read them. And then eventually, I give the books away. So much easier than reading them.

I'm Julie said...

Our conversations are similar.
"Can I have a snack?"
"No you just had breakfast. Fine have a snack. Have fruit."
"Can I have candy?"
"Is that fruit?"
"Can I have a bowl of jelly? Licorice? Ice Cream?"

And on and on and on and on and on and on

countrymouse said...

I was totally thinking the same thing about VUBOQ--he's the only blogger who can make lunch an interesting subject : )

And SG, I'm *totally* enamored with your new blog. And if I weren't so lazy I'd blogroll it : )

heartatpreschool said...

All out of babies. I love that!

Belle said...

I tried the whole health route, but my kids started to waste away. My daughter only eats fruit if I put it on meringues with cream.

Ali said...

Mine like to wait until a half an hour before dinner and then begin to nag and whine about a snack. Then not eat their dinner. Awesome.

You're entertaining even when blogging about fruit pimping though!

dizzblnd said...

That's right! We should all punish our kids by depriving them of all the things we were deprived when we were kids. Right On sista!

Christy said...

Well I just have one little baby who has just started eating solids, but I can see her palate takes after mine, poor thing. Her dad will eat anything, me...not so much. She tried peas yesterday and spit them out all over the place.

The Panic Room said...

So wait. What did you have for lunch today?

Scottsdale Girl said...

Ah the lunch conversation, and also the dinner conversation, whether it be with a child or an adult of the male persuastion. Utterly Exhausting (tm).

I found that book to be ...pretty useless.

Lawton said...

Lately I've been feeling guilty that my 2 1/2 year old subsists primarily on chicken nuggets and pb&js. Bored and boring. Thanks for giving me some context - its not boring when it's someone else's terrible kid torturing them for cheesesticks and licorice at all hours of the night.

Lawton said...

Is it terrible that I don't know you and just called your kid terrible? Sorry. That is how terrible my kids is now - Coco the Terrible - her terribleness extends to all children.

sista #2 said...

Tell Noa sista #2 ALWAYS has pop tarts.

I came from a no junk food household. When I left home, I rebelled and now I stockpile the junk.