I had a great title for this post but it was too long for the title box. Which has never happened to me before.

Noa's picked up a new catch phrase. She learned it from Jake who used it correctly, although not necessarily kindly:

Mom, no offense but you're kind of a hypocrite.

This attack was leveled when informed that he couldn't check a cookbook out of the library even though I planned to. Being as, I don't know, I plan meals and cook them? And his job is writing book reports and Rachel Ray isn't on the approved author list. (1) Before you rip into me about censorship, know that Jake has unusual and varied book tastes and needs to be reigned in.

Anywho, Noa's track record for correct usage her new favorite phrase is about 30%. There's the occasional lucky hit:

All the other moms wear make-up when they come to school. No offense.

But usually it seems to be a way to just add more words to her sentence. As if she needed the help: (2)

I'd like a cheeseburger with no pickles. No offense. (3)

I think I'll wear my gray shirt today. No offense.


I have 3 pages of math homework tonight. No offense

Which is more like a 25% accuracy rate, but math isn't her strong point.

And trust me, the irony of having a child worried about offending people, is not at all lost on me.

1) And, hey, no offense taken. Hypocrite is far from the worst thing ShallowGal got called that day.
2) No offense Noa.
3) According to a recent poll, pickles are the most easily offended condiment.