Thursday, November 20, 2008

Five things

ed note: this is likely to be SG's most self-righteous, annoying post ever. I already read it through and SG uses foul language and gets just a wee bit holier-than-thou. You've been warned.

Over the past five years, ShallowGal's family has fostered over a dozen children ranging in age from 2 days to 8 years old. Along the way, we've learned a few things. And lucky you, get to hear them today.

1) Babies suck at Gobblet. Noa beat Baby J 4 times out of 5 and claims she let him win the fifth. Baby J was 3 weeks old and asleep at the time.

2) Everybody needs a hand up from time to time. Anyone who claims otherwise is a loner or a liar. And the people who judge the birth mother most critically, are ironically the same ones who don't actually participate themselves in any community work.

If these detractors would take just 10% of the time they spend criticizing people they've never met and spend it actually helping; well, I'd have to listen to 10% less bullshit and maybe someone's life would be a bit better. Just a thought. No, you and I did not get pregnant at 16. We were lucky. Not better. Lucky.

3) Which leads us to this: Abstinence only education DOES NOT WORK. We need to make accessible to everyone affordable contraceptives and the knowledge to use them effectively.

Not everyone has the RNC behind them to pressure the baby daddy to marry them.

4) The fine people of Arkansas? Are idiots.

Now ShallowGal is outraged with California and Prop 8. Why anyone votes against love is beyond understanding. But the denizens (1) who passed Act 1 in Arkansas, which prevents unmarried cohabiting couples from adopting or fostering children, voted against families.

Clearly the intent of Act 1 was to prevent gay couples from adopting. Which in and of itself is awful. SG isn't even going to bother with the statistics about pedophiles (2) Let's talk about the unintended (?) side effect. Parents cannot be guaranteed that their choice of guardian will be honored if they die. This law could supersede not only the parents' judgment but that of the judge and caseworkers who are familiar with the actual child. Hello? I thought the right wing was all about less intrusive government.

Like there wasn't enough reason to get the fuck out of Arkansas before?

Arkansas already has three times as many children who need homes as people willing to adopt or foster them. Taking away potential loving homes, so kids could instead grow up in a group home? So not in the best interest of the child. And it's happening now, in Arkansas to hundreds of already placed foster children. It breaks my heart.
Reminds SG of her all-time fave bumper sticker
which made more sense before SG edited the previous paragraph.

5) You could be a foster family. Trust me, if we can do it, anyone can. We already have 5 people in an 1800 square foot house; adding another means pulling out the trundle bed, blowing up an air mattress, or sticking a pack and play so it blocks my closet. It is loud as fuck in my house sometimes. More laundry than you could imagine. Totally worth it.

1) Denizen is a fancy word for citizen but doesn't it sound kind of obnoxious? Cause it's totally supposed to.
2) Hint: The vast majority of them are actually heterosexual men.


vuboq said...

well said. and not holier-than-thou. you totally rock, ShallowGal.


Sue @ My Party of 6 said...

Word. And I love the bumper sticker even if it doesn't make sense there anymore.

marathon mom said...

I can't wait for the day Baby J opens it up on Noa and shuts.her.out.on.Gobblet!

Well said SG.

First Time Dad said...

Your best post yet. Period.

Becca said...

Wow, I somehow managed to miss the whole Arkansas thing. I'm going to be furious all day now.

Well said, SG. Well said.

My Name is Cat said...

I happened over here via Bossy, and I'm so glad I did. What a great post. I just wonder what is going to happen to the kids they pull out of great foster homes because the parents aren't married. I guess they'll put them into group homes run by unmarried facilitators.

Trish and Miller said...

Finley and her 2 moms in CA love you even more now! Thanks for the post ShallowGal.

sista #2 said...

I love you .
We thought about Foster Care. How do you give those children back? I dunno, it would break my heart.

Don't get me start on that Prop 8 thing.....


I'm Julie said...

NOT holier than thou. Smarter than many.

And I'll tell you WHAT (you're all, damn, now here SHE goes...): When all the "moral" straight married folk take in a foster baby and adopt a troubled kid and give aid to unmarried pregnant women - and therefore help SOLVE the parentless child problem we have - IF they ALL do that - THEN and ONLY then will I listen to their bullshit talk about how gays can't raise kids.

Until then - sorry, straight people. You need to shut up.

(Being straight, I suppose I should shut up first....???)

(Gosh, what just happened there? Do I always get so crazy, or does SG just bring it out in me??)

Anyway, great post!

David said...

Go grrrrrrl!