Monday, November 10, 2008

An ode to the raisin in front of my speedometer

To the tune of the runaway hit classic "I have (1) a little dreidel" (2)

I have a little raisin,
I found it on my dash.
It's brown and oh so dusty,
I should put it in the trash.

Oh raisin raisin raisin
From where forth has thou come?
Oh raisin raisin raisin
This song is really dumb.

I noticed you last Thursday
Just sitting there so stealth;
It really shouldn't surprise me
I fear my mental health

Oh raisin raisin raisin
I had real crap to say (3)
You've really gone and done it
I must throw you away.(4)

A picture is worth a thousand dreidel songs.
Too bad I already inflicted this one on you.

1) Quick lesson about Judaism. There are 3 branches;Reform, Conservative and Orthodox. The basic difference is that Reform Jews sing "I had a little dreidel" while Conservative Jews sing "I have a little dreidel." Also how many days a week we have to schlep our kids to Hebrew School. Possibly something about Torah interpretation. But mostly the Dreidel song thing.
2) My spell check program claims I don't want to say dreidel but Dresden. Is it possible for a computer to be antisemitic?
3) You know, about the election, and my Disney trip. But clearly songs about raisins are time senstitive.
4) There was another verse that rhymed absurd with mouse turd. I spared you this time.


vuboq said...

Grrrl, it's even too early in the afternoon for vuboq to start drinking ...

What do Orthodox Jews sing?

sista #2 said...

Now I will be singing this raisin song all night!!

I noticed a fry on the floor of my car. I imagined Big F stopping at Mickey D's, stufffing fries down his throat before he got home.

He's on a diet, ya know.
but I found the evidence....and I left it there.


ShallowGal said...

V: Orthodox Jews sing

"We have 2 separate dreidels, one for the men in the main room, one for the women behind a curtain." It's a fucking trainwreck of a song.

sista 2: The great fry stand-off of 2008. BTDT.

xoxo, SG

countrymouse said...

Omigosh--I thought the post was hilarious and then I read your response to vuboq's comment and totally peed my pants laughing!

You're hilarious. And cute. And a good writer. And I hate you : )

Kelley said...

I knew I loved you.

Boo has been singing the dreidel song, and I am gunna teach him yours.

I am hoping to find a Hebrew school round here for him. He is teaching himself via youtube and the Taglit Birthright Israel website...

And come on admit it, you sniffed it to see if it was still good, right?

I'm Julie said...

Just say the word and we're all boycotting your dictionary program.

We have power my friend. The power of the masses. No hatin' allowed while I'm on duty.

David said...

I admit I was not aware of the fine distinction between "have" and "had" in the denominational renditions of this song. But if you think about it, it really does support the underlying concepts of Reform vs. Conservative, where Reform views the written law as something from the past that requires updating, while Conservatives sees the text as a living document evolving with them.

You had no idea what you were getting into when you penned this little ditty, did you?