SG: Talking in class is a bad habit, like biting your nails. You just need to make an effort to stop.
Noa: Like you're so perfect.
SG: Name one bad habit I have (2)
Noa: Turning boxes inside out.
SG: That's really more of a lifestyle choice.
Scene 2: ShallowGal is measuring Noa for the skating dress she is having made (3) for the upcoming competition season. (4)
SG: You're between a 6 and an 8 but we'll go with the 8 because it's easier to take in than let out.
Jake: What size would I be?
SG: If you wore a skating dress?
SG: Let me get this straight. I need to finish ordering this, clean up your dinner dishes, put Eli to bed, make my own dinner, supervise showers and teeth brushing (4) all in the next like 45 minutes so I can get 7 hours sleep before I have to wake up and do it all over again, but you'd like me to stop and measure you for an imaginary hypothetical skating dress?
Jake: Never mind.
SG: That's what I thought.
Scene 3: The dinner table.
Eli: Knock knock
SG: Who's there?
Eli: This blonde walks into a room.
SG: Wait. You're four. Where did you learn blonde jokes?
Eli: My worms (5) told them to me.
SG: Your worms told you a knock knock jokes about a blonde?
Eli: My worms told me the knock knock joke and my duck told me the blonde joke.
SG: So what's the punchline?
Eli: I still like yogurt!
SG: I don't get it.
Eli: Never mind.
1) In no surprise to anyone who has ever met Noa.
2) Eating in bed, too much reality tv and referring to myself constantly in the third person are the ones that come to mind. I don't know if Noa was overlooking them out of obliviousness or self protection.
3) Read "having made"as "won on ebay"
4) Meaning the competition at our home rink. ShallowGal has no delusions about her kids skating careers; they are good skaters but not 'leave the state good'.
5) Because I haven't yet caved to the pressure of a dog, Eli owns several imaginary pet worms, as well as a frog and a duck.