Monday, December 8, 2008

Jewish Jeremy

From an actual conversation I had a few months ago. Because once strep throat season is upon us, the only grown-ups ShallowGal gets to talk to in person are pediatricians and pharmacists. And the guy at the liquor store. And nobody wants to hear those conversations.

ShallowGal: How was your trip to Greece?

Neighbor: Amazing. We went with this great group from Randall's school, all nice kids. One in particular, Jeremy. Hey, he's Jewish, maybe you know him.

SG: Jeremy?

Neighbor: Yeah, he keeps kosher so I guess he's probably Jewish. I don't remember where he said he lives but he goes to TJ so somewhere around here.

SG: Oh. Of course. Jewish Jeremy from Northern Virginia. Everyone knows him.

Neighbor: See I figured as much. Nice kid. Wait, are you fucking with me?

SG: Well, yeah. Just cause we're both Jewish doesn't mean. . . . (all of a sudden SG remembers Jake's girlfriend's brother is named Jeremy, keeps kosher and goes to TJ ) Jeremy Kringlehoff? (1)

Neighbor: Yes.

SG: Yeah, I know him. Good kid.

Neighbor: I figured as much. Hey, what's Barbara Streisand like in person?

SG: She's nice. (2)

1) Obviously his name isn't Jeremy Kringlehoff. Nobody is named Jeremy Kringlehoff. Seriously. ShallowGal googled it and nada. So, bonus! SG should,as of tomorrow, be the #1 hit on google for Jeremy Kringlehoff.
2) Ok, maybe she didn't ask that. But it makes for a way better story.
Don't make me have to resort to liquor guy stories.


Stimey said...

Well, thank God, something will finally come up on my Jeremy Kringlehoff searches.

I'm Julie said...

SG I've been meaning to ask if you'd introduce me to Jon Stewart? I heart him a lot. Please tell him!

PS I want to hear the liquor guy stories!

vuboq said...

I want to hear the likker guy stories too!

David said...

Well I know you
and you know me
and were as Jewish as can be...

bobeesah said...

I, too, would love to hear about the liquor boys. If only because that sounds like a weird boy band.

Kelley said...


I get that with people from the US thinking Australia is this tiny little island. Like Manhattan. Or England.

So your cousins neighbours hairdressers aunt lives in Australia? Sure! I know her.

sista #2 said...

I wonder if you know my Brother in Law? He is Jewish.