Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Suburban Dictionary Word of the Day: FLUcation (1)

n: an unplanned day at home with sick kid(s).

Like a Jewish holiday, FLUcations begin the night before. Usually at the stroke of midnight. Ask any mother and she will concur: no vomit comes during daylight hours. (2)

Ingredients for a successful FLUcations: pajamas, a large DVD collection, Clorox wipes and vodka.

Early in our marriage, PCSguy agreed to the title of Vice President of Bear Management and Vomit. So far he's batting 100% on keeping me safe from bears but his vomit percentage is much lower. In fact I'd hazard that PCSguy is out of town on business during 90% of all FLUcations. (3)

Last night, however, PCSguy performed admirably. He may even receive a promotion, possibly to Executive Vice President of Bear Management and Vomit. I don't want the power to go to his head though, so we'll see.

(1)Yes, it's true. ShallowGal is actually ripping off her own post from Monday. Hey judge-y reader, lay-off ! Between the Alamo Bowl going into overtime and sick kids, SG got pretty much no sleep last night. SG was tempted to just type a whole lot of j's and call it a day. Cause in her sleep deprived mind, that's funny stuff.

jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj j jjjjjj jj jjjjjjj (4)

(2)Exception: if you're at a Nordstrom sale. Or First Call at Neiman's. Then they'll throw up at school. Those clinic nurses have no sense of priority.
(3) Like the time I was 8 months pregnant and the basement was being renovated and the water was turned off. Between midnight and 5 am, Noa threw up on every towel and sheet in the house.
(4) Funny and hypnotic. Win / Win


Stimey said...

That sucks. But this seems to be a very accurate definition of FLUcation.

I was on vacation last May when Sam decided to hork up everything in his body in a hotel room between 11pm and 5am. There aren't enough towels and blankets in a hotel room for that kind of horking.

We left a note of apology and money when we left for the day that morning.

Good luck with your FLUcation.

David said...

Maybe I DON'T want kids after all.


Ian said...

Flucation...haha being a dictionary nut, I love it.

Kelley said...

MPS sleeps through all kinds of childhood sicknesses. Even when I kick him in the head.

So I just scrape the vomit into his shoes.

Mr Farty said...

Flucations suck. Especially when the kids are sick from mixing drinks and then throw up on the bedroom floor.

Not that that's ever happened to me. No sirree!

Happy Chicago!

I'm Julie said...

Only YOU could make vomit sound funny!!

Our flucation is taking the form of junior breaking out in massive hives and Mom and Dad doubled over in stomach pain. FUN fun fun!!

Julie@Cool Mom Guide said...

Wow, I seemed to have embarked on my very own FLUcation, not to be confused with the awesome MANcation (as my hubby calls it) when I take the boys out of town and he gets the house to himself. I need a LADYcation...

bobeesah said...

Wow. I thought I was the only one having a night of PUKAGE on New Year's Eve. And on the plane home. And all over our house.

I almost choked on my milk when I read your post, laughing so hard. After a few days of the plague, I needed that. Thanks.