Monday, December 29, 2008

Suburban Dictionary Word of the Day: Blogcation

n: a day trip or short vacation, taken primarily to get out of the house and educate / entertain (1) spawn, but with the added perk of providing blogger with fresh material.

PCSguy: What should we do today?
SG: How about a blogcation to Baltimore.

(alternate definition: a vacation taken from writing one's blog to reflect upon the meaning of it all. See, for example, most of December 2008. )

To pass the time on the 90 minute ride, Eli utilized his new logo recognition skill and pointed out every Honda we saw on 95 North. FYI: A lot of people drive Hondas. Also FYI: the only acceptable response to a 3 year old pointing out a Honda is "wow, you're right. It is a Honda." (2)

Our original destination was the National Aquarium where we proved the age old adage that the amount one pays for an Aquarium membership will be inversely proportional to the collective enthusiasm. To wit: for a $125 annual family membership, the kids would be less interested than they are in the goldfish at the pet store.

But how does she really feel?

Having guilted the posse into enduring a solid 90 minutes of fish (3), we headed next door to the Barnes and Noble where SG could consult a Baltimore travel guide for an idea what to do next. Fodors recommended the Baltimore Public Works museum. PCSguy and SG sold posse on the idea of learning about sewage and walked the three blocks to this:

Naturally the posse can't think of anything
they'd rather do at this point than learn about sewage . . .

We walked a few more blocks to the Civil War Museum which looked like this:

. . . except maybe Baltimore's role in the Civil war.

We eased the pain at Vaccaro's with gelato and cream puffs.

On a whim, on our way home, we followed a sign to Fort McHenry. Now ShallowGal may have many years of advanced education but after ten years of staying home with kids, SG remembered NOTHING about the War of 1812. It is entirely possible that SG forgot there even was a War in 1812.

Posse: Mother, dear. Can you please educate us on the War of 1812?
SG: Something about Canada, maybe? And Napoleon. And it started in 1812. Or maybe it ended in 1812? And that guy who wrote the Nutcracker wrote that piece with the cannon that they play on the fourth of July. You know Da da da da da da dut dut dut. Boom ! Hey look! Cannonballs!
PCSguy: Ten bucks your mom is on Wikipedia within 10 minutes of walking in the door.(4)

Jake is fairly desperate for a souvenir.

Signs were read. Park rangers interrogated. Every square inch of Fort McHenry investigated. Learning ensued.

Three hours later we got back on 95 South, the posse excitedly planning to write reports on Fort McHenry and the War of 1812.

Cannonballs. Who knew? Hey, who cares? The Blogcation was a success.

(1) Or edutainment, next week's suburban dictionary word of the day.
(2)Any other response elicits the following rebuke: "Mommy, Mommy Mommy, Mommy. Say wow, you're right. It is a Honda."

(3) Fish CPM (cost per minute) $1.25
(4) A fairly smart-ass remark for someone who couldn't add any actual information about the War of 1812.


Stimey said...

Nothing makes you want to learn about sewage more than not being allowed to learn about sewage.

And I'm so glad I'm not the only mom who is ordered to respond in the exact correct way to an oft-repeated comment.

Anonymous said...

SG gave me 5lbs of gummy bears for Hanukah. I'm just saying -- perfect wife.


David said...

How can they not like the aquarium? I've always loved the aquarium. That's just wrong. Does the Baltimore aquarium suck that much?

I'm Julie said...

OK this was SPIT MY TEA OUT funny...

Baltimore sewage works?? Can't imagine WHY the ingrates wouldn't want to take that trip.

That is totally something I would drag my family to.

SG, you CRACK ME UP!!!!

Heather, Queen of Shake Shake said...

I read the part about not enjoying a trip to an aquarium and my world imploded.

Anonymous said...

What's up with those kids? The Baltimore aquarium is great!

Kelley said...

I took a Blogcation today.

To the supermarket.

My kids were just as excited.

There were fish. And the cannonballs were in aisle 4.