Mostly Wordless Wednesday: The It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas edition

Because it isn't officially Christmas-time around here
until SG starts making daily trips to the pediatrician

How to score a hotel upgrade, PCSguy style

Let me make one thing clear, the quest for the free upgrade falls entirely on PCSguy. ShallowGal is thrilled just to be out of the house, and would happily vacation in a cardboard box as long as she was with her loved ones. (1)

Quick free travel lesson: When you redeem Marriott points to stay someplace like a Residence Inn, you have a choice of rooms; for enough extra points you can upgrade from a studio to a 2 bedroom suite. When you use them at a Ritz Carlton, you get a standard room, no view. Consider yourself lucky that you don't get the room with the roll in shower (2)

When we made our reservation at the South Beach Ritz, they asked if we were celebrating any special occasion. PCSguy informed them it was our anniversary. Rule #1: It's always your anniversary. Prove it's not. Who travels with their marriage license? Last year on our "anniversary" the Ritz in Naples upgraded us to a suite and sent us chocolate covered strawberries.

This year, however, we messed up:

Check-in agent: Happy Anniversary. How many years?

(Simultaneously)
PCSguy: Four

ShallowGal: Twenty (3)

Rule #2: Get your story straight before check-in.

Other mis-truths that may or may not have been told during our stay; that ShallowGal is a thoracic surgeon, that we met in Spain while SG was on spring break and PCSguy was on a layover returning from the a stint with the Peace Corp in Iceland.

Rule #3: Thoracic surgery is a good fake career, because nobody really knows what it means, and even if they do, it's not like they're going around asking for help with their esophagus. And thoracic surgeons receive way more respect than stay-at-home moms / bloggers. Go figure.

Our small free upgrade to a standard room with a pool view was much appreciated as both PCSguy and ShallowGal succumbed to a nasty cold. And it rained the entire time. (4) Our faux-anniversary was spent in bed watching a Saved by the Bell (the college years) marathon and eating matzoh ball soup delivered from Jerry's.

And enjoying the pool view. Suckers.


1) Did anyone actually buy that? I thought it was convincing.
2) Until this very second, SG didn't realize it meant roll in, like wheelchair accessible. She thought it meant a bunch of rooms so cheap that they had one shower between them, that they rolled from room to room as needed. Live and learn.
3) Correct answer 12 1/2. The couple checking in behind us also claimed it was their twentieth anniversary. Too late losers, they've heard it before.
4) SG wonders who will be the first to use the word Karma in their comment.

Cause a million monkeys with typewriters will eventually type Hamlet

Things that make me think my three year old is secretly a prodigy:

Eli (points to television): Look Mommy. Obama.

SG: Who is Obama?

Eli: Our new President.

Things that make me think my three year old is actually not a secret prodigy:

Eli: (to 17 year old short haired, African American man working the front desk at the ice rink) Are you Obama? (1)

Things seal the deal:

Eli: (pointing to front page of Washington Post ) Look Mommy, it's the man from the ice rink.

1) Also falls under the category "things make me think my kids are really trying to kill me by embarrassment"

Mostly Wordless Wednesday: Disneyworld Edition

It was a very impressive parade indeed. (1)

1) ShallowGal's photography skills however, are less than impressive, bordering on non-existent.(2) That had the potential to be an awesome picture.
2) Her wordlessness meanwhile is getting way better. And ability to post Wordless Wednesday on an actual Wednesday? A+

Jewish Jeremy

From an actual conversation I had a few months ago. Because once strep throat season is upon us, the only grown-ups ShallowGal gets to talk to in person are pediatricians and pharmacists. And the guy at the liquor store. And nobody wants to hear those conversations.

ShallowGal: How was your trip to Greece?

Neighbor: Amazing. We went with this great group from Randall's school, all nice kids. One in particular, Jeremy. Hey, he's Jewish, maybe you know him.

SG: Jeremy?

Neighbor: Yeah, he keeps kosher so I guess he's probably Jewish. I don't remember where he said he lives but he goes to TJ so somewhere around here.

SG: Oh. Of course. Jewish Jeremy from Northern Virginia. Everyone knows him.

Neighbor: See I figured as much. Nice kid. Wait, are you fucking with me?

SG: Well, yeah. Just cause we're both Jewish doesn't mean. . . . (all of a sudden SG remembers Jake's girlfriend's brother is named Jeremy, keeps kosher and goes to TJ ) Jeremy Kringlehoff? (1)

Neighbor: Yes.

SG: Yeah, I know him. Good kid.

Neighbor: I figured as much. Hey, what's Barbara Streisand like in person?

SG: She's nice. (2)

1) Obviously his name isn't Jeremy Kringlehoff. Nobody is named Jeremy Kringlehoff. Seriously. ShallowGal googled it and nada. So, bonus! SG should,as of tomorrow, be the #1 hit on google for Jeremy Kringlehoff.
2) Ok, maybe she didn't ask that. But it makes for a way better story. Don't make me have to resort to liquor guy stories.

Mostly Wordless Wednesday: The raisin returneth (1)

Raisin watch continues:
Saturday will be the raisin & dashboard's one month anniversary (2)(3)

1) Technically "the raisin stayeth" but dude, it's mostly wordless Wednesday on an actual Wednesday. That's got to count for something.
2) Hopefully Zappos will send something.
3) Let's cut SG some slack here. In the past two days SG has been to the eye doctor (4) the mammogram place (5) and got the tail light fixed in the car (6)
4) Someone needs reading glasses.
5) The girls are just fine, thanks for asking. And the mammogram doesn't hurt at all, people! Hooray for healthy tatas!
6) Why that mechanic didn't just throw away the raisin while he was there is the question we should all be asking.

Happy Zappo-versary to ShallowGal

On November 29th 2007 ShallowGal bought some boots. And just when she thought the day was going to pass by completely without any commemoration, the following e-mail arrived:

One year ago, you ordered the following product from Zappos.com:

La Canadienne Blanche - Cherry Crinkle Patent - 8.5/M (B)

We wanted to let you know that right now, your size is still available
from Zappos.com. You can order the same product again by visiting:

http://www.zappos.com/bin/z/ref/oneyear/p/7177368/cl/1/fkn/sroy/fkv/1665566.html

So now SG is confused. (1) She expected a cake, or maybe some flowers, but instead just got this weird e-mail. Does Zappos think these shoes have already worn out ? (2) Or maybe they think SG has grown another pair of feet? Possibly they want to rub it in that SG has such bizarre taste that a full year later these shoes are nowhere near sold out.

There's only one possible explanation; Zappos is hinting that *I* should buy my boots a birthday present. What on Earth does one buy boots that already have everything? Except maybe some friends.

I know, I know.
I'm just too nice to my shoes.

1) Yes, now.
2) and if so, that she would then order the exact same pair?