What to buy for the Gal who will mock you regardless

Fact: ShallowGal does not have a romantic bone in her large-boned body. That probably became clear when I started calling my life partner and soul mate since 1993: "PCSguy." (1) If it weren't for my spectacular rack and my ability to locate the tape / ketchup / scissors on the first try, well, I'd pretty much be a guy.

For the most part, PCSguy doesn't seem mind this. He saves a ton on flowers and always has someone to watch football with. But come Valentine's Day, he's in a bit of a pickle.

Because every year I say that I don't want anything. And for the most part, I don't. Definitely not supermarket flowers or candy. Not even jewelery. Yet PCSguy is afraid I will tell all my friends how he arrived home on the evening of the 14th empty-handed.

He's not going to give me cash (2) , so every year I ask for this:

Giant floating cartoon worm not included

It's a worm composter, you guys ! Useful, environmentally friendly and educational to boot! (3) PCSguy point-blank refuses.

This year he thought the stakes were even higher because I would blog to the world (4) about his gift or lack thereof. He announced he had thought of the perfect thing. And he was so proud of it that he couldn't wait until Valentine's Day to give it to me.

I told you I had a nice rack.

A root touch- up always makes a nice gift

Unfortunately, ShallowGal is misspelled, so I can't wear it in public. But I can, and will, wear it while I go in my garden and dig in the mud for worms.


1) I have been known to introduce PCSguy as "my first husband" or "the father of children."
2) I asked
3) If worms ate ham, it would be the perfect invention.
4) And all 7 of my readers