Granny for hire

ShallowGal comes from hearty stock. I'm probably one of the few people my age (1) who can claim two living grandmothers.

Now I love my Grandmas very much (duh) and I hate to say it, but they aren't very useful to me anymore. My dad's mother is close to one hundred years old and pretty much sleeps all day, plus she lives in Miami. My mom's mom is in an Alzheimer's facility a few miles down the road, and lord have mercy on my soul, that place provides enough material for a whole 'nother blog.(2)

When I was little, Alzheimer Grandma was an avid knitter. She'd make me and my sister and cousins these beautiful sweaters and she'd sew in these little "made with love by Grandma" labels. When I left for college she made me a wonderful afghan; PCSguy and I still fight over it on cold nights in front of the tv. I wish my kids could remember her that way, sitting on the lanai, watching golf and knitting. Alzheimers sucks.

But back to today's real problem. I have nobody to knit for me. I need to adopt someone. My hands are full enough with actual old people, and an imaginary grandma won't create anything warm enough.

Alas ! Net Granny to the rescue! (Or should I say Alors, my German is mein rusty)(3)

Now the site is entirely in German, but Free Translation comes to our rescue. (They also have an English button on the top right, but that's for wimps. You get more authentic socks if you order in the original German)

First I need to choose a Grandma. Obviously the cute ones are better knitters so I choose Annelis.

Wenn ein spannender Krimi läuft, stricke ich die Socken gleich fertig (4)

The socks are 27.50 Euros which thanks to the wonderful economic policies of Bush, Jr is like $762, I think, which is way more than my real grandma used to charge me. Plus she's working on four other pairs of socks first, which may be a deal breaker, because either I'm her favorite net-granddaughter or I walk.

But it's good to know she's there for me.

1) Let's just put me in the 35-44 category.
2) With much darker humor
3) You know how Heidi Klum says Auf Wiedersehen when someone is eliminated on Project Runway? For two whole seasons PCSguy and I thought she was saying "Happy Squid Day"
4) Which according to free translation means "If an exciting Krimi runs, I knit the socks equally ready."