1) You make meatloaf and mashed potatoes for your sick neighbor's family while feeding lunchables to your own kids.
2) But the meatloaf is actually from the Safeway deli counter and transfered into your own dish because, hey, why I am I slaving over a meatloaf in the hot summer for someone else's kids anyway?
3) Your kids wear hand-me-downs (1) so you can shop at Nordstrom.
4) But despite a closet full of slightly-too-small nice clothes you wear the same tank top and yoga pants every day.
5) That insulated Starbucks mug you're sipping from while watching swim team practice? Crystal light and vodka. The new flavor of crystal light with vitamin B. Cause you're really health conscious that way.
6) You consider correcting other people's grammar a hobby.
10) You practice that new math. Especially when you're missing Denise Richards:It's complicated. (2)
1) Thank heavens for friends with excellent taste and slightly larger kids.
2) Although Denise? C'mon. It's not that complicated. I mean you knew he was a scum from the very start.