Jake started complaining of a sharp stomach pain right after school. By dinner time he was clutching his left side and moaning. ShallowGal did a quick google search which revealed that Jake was suffering from an ectopic pregnancy and immediately whisked him away .
We arrived around 8 pm. The waiting room was filled with people watching some American Idol special. ShallowGal filled out some paperwork, forked over her $100 co-pay and sat down to wait.
ShallowGal has spent more than her fair share of time in emergency rooms. That'll happen when you have 3 kids and like 78 old people in your care. One summer weekend in 2002, ShallowGal actually ended up in three different emergency rooms in as many days when Noa, not yet 2, repeatedly stopped breathing. The last time ShallowGal actually burst into the ER with Noa in her arms screaming "my baby's not breathing." (1) Now that was like ER.
Jake was seen by a triage nurse and aside from his pain, had no other symptoms. However his moaning was upsetting all the other patients in the waiting room so she moved us to the front of the line and into the first available ER bed. With 'first available' meaning only 42 minutes.
After like 11 more hours, the doctor came in. He looked nothing like Goran Visnjic.
They did some x-rays and some other tests and a week from next Thursday came back to report that Jake had gas. Then once time had completely stopped, they decided to send him home and have him follow up today with his pediatrician. By this time ShallowGal had actually finished medical school and her surgical residency and had cured Jake anyway.
Now I'm glad Jake's all better, and I'm sure that my new medical degree will come in handy, but ShallowGal can't help but fantasize about what else she could have spent that $100 on. (2)
Like this Anna Sui dress.
1) It's so nice of you to ask. The first diagnosis was asthma but she's never had any other issues. She spent a couple days taking xopenex through a nebulizer and was fine. Just one of those things. One of those things that takes 4 years off a mother's life that is.
2) You don't earn the title ShallowGal by being all altruistic.