How to plan a trip to BlogHer '08 ~ ShallowGal style

Step 1) Get text message from real life friend and blogger Lolita Travelsalot suggesting trip to BlogHer '08. Text back all excited-like, but know, deep down in your shallow little heart that you aren't going anywhere.

Step 2) Overcome fear of meeting strangers and attend Bossy's DC gathering. Come home and point out to PCSguy that not only did I not get mugged and murdered upon leaving the house but I actually had fun. Text Lolita back and agree. Sign up online that night.

Step 3) Re-start diet. Commit to losing 15 pounds before July 17th.

Step 4) Book flight to San Francisco. PCSguy generously offers frequent flier miles.

Now on United a saver ticket (if available) costs 25,000 miles but a standard ticket (good on any flight) costs 50,000 miles. ShallowGal once read this little tidbit in the travel section about how hard it is to redeem frequent flier miles these days and suggested that you check business class for availability.

ShallowGal investigates and sees that there are no saver awards available and no business class flights either. Stupid tidbit. ShallowGal decides to wait. Two weeks later ShallowGal checks again. Still no saver awards. Just as she's ponying up the 50,000 miles for standard coach flight, she checks business class and SCORE ! ShallowGal gets the same flight in business class for 45,000 miles.

Lesson learned: procrastination pays.

Step 5) ShallowGal calls everyone she's ever met and tells them that she's flying business class to California. Nobody cares. Not even ShallowGal's mother.

Step 6) Flashback (1) to the last time that ShallowGal flew business class. Come with me. December 2001. The family was en route to Puerto Rico, again courtesy of the millions of miles that PCSguy racks up every year.

Not two minutes after we take off, Noa starts throwing up. She continues to throw up every 30 minutes for the rest of the flight and then intermittently for next ten days, until her 15 month self weighs a puny 18 pounds. On the last day of our vacation she finally starts to feel better.

At the San Juan airport, Jake throws up.

We get on the plane and in some freaky turn of fate we have the same flight attendant. He points Noa out to his partner and says "that's the kid that threw up the entire trip South." To which I replied "and this is her brother who will throw up the entire trip North." Other passengers actually fled their first class seats for the safety of coach.

Anyway, step 6 ends hoping that Karma looks kindly on ShallowGal and provides her with a vomit-free flight.

Step 7) Recall that at Bossy's gathering other bloggers gave ShallowGal mementos to help her remember to visit their blogs. Browse catalogs debating merits of business cards, key chains, pens and magnets until landing on the perfect piece o' swag for all ShallowGal's new BFFs:

Only instead of 'Days Inn' it will say
I went to BlogHer '08 and all ShallowGal gave me was this lousy toaster (2)

See ya in San Francisco!

1) Travel planning for ShallowGal involves a lot of shoe buying and reminiscing.
2) I can so fit all that on a piece of toast.