Sunday, April 13, 2008

ShallowGal skips town

Would you believe that ShallowGal still knows the women from the Lamaze class she took ten years ago? Actually ShallowGal took hyponobirthing. But all these other women took Lamaze together and stayed friends and ShallowGal met one of these women in a breast feeding class and managed to hone her way in to their little club when Jake was six weeks old. But that's a confusing story so it's just easier to say "my friends from Lamaze."

Every April all my Lamaze friends (1) and I head to Donna's house by the Bay for a weekend getaway. We do the same exact same stuff every single year. I'd love to tell you all about it but Donna has a rule "what happens at the bay house, stays at the bay house." (2)

Luckily I've found a loophole. I'm going to tell you about the drive to the bay house.

The distance from the coffee shop where we meet to form carpools to the bay is 48 miles. MapQuest estimates that it should take an hour. That's cause MapQuest doesn't realize that we need to stop every twenty minutes. If Bossy took us on her road trip, it would take her eleven years to cross the country.

I caught a ride with Kim and Tracy. Our first stop was Kim's house. She had to work the next day so she pretended that wasn't going to spend the night. She always pretends that and she always spends the night and leaves at 6 am. (3) We swung by her house for some pajamas. Then we admired the new paint colors in her dining room. Then we gawked at her wedding picture. We made a potty stop. We debated how many diet cokes we'd need for the drive. Then with her pajamas left neatly folded on the kitchen table, we all climbed back into her Volvo.

We actually managed to drive an entire half hour before stopping at a large Safeway. There we bought the provisions we'd forgotten, including a bag of ice, 4 cases of diet coke, and some milk. This stuff, plus the three coolers full of food, the restaurant where we ate dinner, and the WalMart where we went after dinner for candy (and a butterfly print house dress for Kim) kept us adequately fed for the next 18 hours.

We'd chosen the Safeway over the much nicer Giant next door because they have an ATM, but Tracy was apparently opposed to any attempt to multi-task. We pulled into a bank so Tracy could get money and Kim and I could read all the Weight Watchers propaganda to try to figure out how many crab cakes we could eat and still remain within our pathetic 24 point allotment. (4)

Once we arrived at the bay house, everyone else had already claimed the good beds and Kim and Tracy ended up with the bunk bed and I got the mattress on the floor. But that's all I can say about that, given Donna's rule and all.

The drive home was shorter since I went back with Lee who doesn't think you actually need to break up an hour long journey. At one point I said "ooh a yard sa" and before I could say "le" she had said "no" and kept driving.

And VUBOQ, you'd be so proud of me. I remained totally alcohol-free (ish) (5)

1) See, wasn't that better than saying my friends who all took Lamaze but SG took hypnobirthing but she met them in breastfeeding class and crashed their little party?
2) I actually think she said it before Las Vegas did.
3) We are slaves to our secret routine
4) It's so funny you ask. I haven't lost any weight per se in the four months since joining weight watchers but now that I remembered that I'm on WW, I expect the pounds to melt away. And the answer is twelve crab cakes.
5) As long as you don't consider vodka to be alcohol.

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