How to make a Monte cristo, ShallowGal style

Adapted from The Best of America's Test Kitchen 2008. (1)

Step 1: Assemble your ingredients. For 6 sandwiches you will need:

4 large eggs, 1/4 cup heavy cream, 2 tsp of sugar, 1/2 tsp of salt, 1/2 tsp of dry mustard (2) 1/8 tsp of cayenne pepper, 12 slices of white bread, 12 slices of Swiss or Gruyere cheese, 12 slices of ham, 12 slices of turkey, 3 tablespoons of canola oil and confectioners' sugar.

So far, it will look like this:

I could have gotten further away to take this picture

Step 1: Move oven rack to the upper-middle position and preheat to 450 degrees. Fair warning: If your oven is anywhere near as dirty as mine, this high heat will set off your smoke detector. Soon it will get to the point where you will say "Hey, I'm making monte cristos" and your PCSguy will say "Better call the alarm company!" Hardy har har. Pour the oil into a rimmed baking sheet and place in oven until preheated.

Step 2: Toast the bread lightly. For this I use the pop tart setting on my toaster. It's a weird setting to have because I actually like my pop tarts raw. You don't want the bread to get too dark as it will become too crumbly, as I will demonstrate later.

Free toaster with 10 cereal box tops?

Step 3: Whisk together eggs, cream, sugar, salt, dry mustard and cayenne in a shallow dish. In a pinch I've used milk instead of the cream.

Step 4: Make the sandwich in this order: bread, cheese, ham, turkey, ham, turkey, cheese, bread. The original recipe called for another layer of cheese right smack in the middle but I find that too cheesy. Hey, they're your arteries, you make the call. Use your hands to smoosh the sandwich together.

Now this is the step where yesterday ShallowGal discovered that PCSguy had opened the cheese and eaten 2 slices. Leaving her exactly 2 pieces short. PCSguy generously offered to forgo his sandwich but it was really a bullshit offer because his mother was there and she would get all up in ShallowGal's face about why doesn't her precious baby have a sandwich.

So ShallowGal will make PCSguy a monte cristo. But she won't be happy about it.

A quick foray into the fridge reveals a frightening amount of yogurt but no other cheese.

ShallowGal can cure a small army of their yeast infections

Once ShallowGal made monte cristos by spreading light Laughing Cow french onion cheese on the toast and it was actually pretty good, but alas, someone has also finished off the laughing cow.

I still think the oatmeal can take the yogurt

ShallowGal is nothing if not resourceful and will make the last sandwich using a cut-up cheese stick.

Step 5) Dip each smooshed sandwich into the egg mixture, like you're making french toast and then transfer to the preheated baking sheet. Return to oven and bake for 5 minutes, flip each sandwich and bake another 5 minutes.

Now do you remember when I warned you not to over-toast the bread or it would crumble when you smooshed it? Let me show you, using a sandwich chosen at random, what I mean:

PCSguy's sandwich? What a weird coincidence!

Step 6) Sprinkle with confectioner sugar and serve immediately with a side of raspberry jam.

Bon appetite!

1) Currently tied for second place on ShallowGal's cookbook shelf after the plain old America's Test Kitchen cookbook.
2) I also use this dry mustard in a fantastic salad dressing recipe, it's worth adding to your spice rack.